Through Community, Belonging is Found
Where we grow up, who we grow up with, what is around us, seeps into our subconsciousness, and often, our identity and spirit. The early years impact our development and understanding of the world in subtle and profound ways. We often carry remnants through life.
Languages, traditions, cultures, interpersonal relationships- they provide children with a sense of who they are, where they are safe and what they value. That is why a Spanish playgroup in inner Melbourne means so much to the families who gather here.
“Having a community- it is more than just the language itself, it is a whole culture,” said Eliana, who attends each week with her son.
“They know that I am not the only one speaking Spanish, all their friends are speaking Spanish, so keeping my language, being so far away from home, is paramount. The language itself, the community, the culture.”
Eliana, attends as many local playgroups as she can. It helps her to create a sense of family and belonging here in Australia.
Silviana, another Spanish native, like Eliana, goes to other playgroups during the week.
Silviana is a full-time Mum and while the language is the main draw card at this playgroup, meeting other mums, in the same situations, is the primary appeal for her. It is an opportunity for her to meet other mums, for her children to play.
“In my country there is not this kind of space, so mums have to pay- so here it is almost free, we pay a fee, but it is very cheap.”
“I am a full-time mum at home. Playgroup means a lot because you meet a lot of friends, you can share some experiences, share some problems we have with the children, especially for a first-time mum. I used the playgroups when I had my first daughter and met another mum who had more experience than me- I get a lot of knowledge from them and friendship.”
Jack and Jill Playgroup has been running since the 1990s in Malvern. In a nod of recognition and respect, the Spanish playgroup who restarted the group after the height of the pandemic have kept the name.
Lily, a teacher, kick started the playgroup alongside Cindy, who acts as treasurer. Lily strongly feels the pull of belonging.
“It is a sense of belonging to a place. We come from lots of different countries and we don’t have a place to share our culture. For me, it was okay when I was single, when I wasn’t a mum. When I became a Mum everything kind of twisted a little bit when I started to share with my kids where I came from, what is my language, what is my food, my traditions.”
Bunos Dies! is sung out and real excitement and camaraderie are felt at this Spanish playgroup from the get-go as families meet. Dressed especially for the occasion of Spanish Book Week, the scene is colorfully vibrant. Children and parents alike are dressed as dinosaurs, fairies, pigs, superheroes and one girl is sporting a long sequined sparkling chain that is very nearly getting caught in the wheels of a toy car without a care in the world. She is busy at play. They all are- exploring, sharing, watching, observing, talking, listening.
Lily brings story time and music time to life, animated and enthusiastic. She is on maternity leave but usually teaches Spanish and writes the VCE Spanish and chemistry exams. Her capacity to entertain and educate enlivens the group and draws in the little ones.
The children are encouraged to join in and repeat the Spanish language aloud. For them, this is all part of the play. They are bilingual already and absorb fragments of culture and life here.
“We all come from 21 different countries and we can communicate because the language is so rich,” said Lily, “but we can find that sense that we all share something which is the feeling of being a mum and that is what counts for us to have that space, that safe space to come and share.”
Next the group moves onto a craft activity- they are making paper snails and all gather to catch up and create.
Not only do the playgroup spend time together, they also share resources and kids clothing. They pool together. They want to welcome more people to join the group, for the community to reach more people. They would like to wave fees for those who cannot make ends meet because they do not want families to miss out.
Naturally as the morning rolls on, the children spill out into different play spaces. One little girl dressed as snow white drives by in her red car, down the path on an adventure, comfortable knowing her Mum is close by.
Mum Carlota feels the same way, grateful for this safe space.
“I think we are very lucky in Australia because in Spain I wouldn’t have this many options to be able to be with her, to play and to have these amazing spaces where we can go every single day of the week. We can find a library, a playgroup, mums groups that are amazing- and to be able to work flexibly because that flexibility that Australia gives you, in terms of working, no chance that will happen in Spain.”
“I am very glad that I have been able to spend all the time that I am spending with her because some people are not as fortunate and they have to put their child in childcare or something like that and I want to be with her.”
“We are able to spend time with them in these years and these are the most important years, they set the foundation for life and you want to be able to be part of that.”
“Not hand that over to a stranger pretty much, it doesn’t feel right for me.”
For Carlota, she is eager to soak up these years when her daughter is young and they can share in all the moments, big and small.
“I feel like we have got to a state where we are almost forced to have to work, to be able to continue the lifestyle, for whatever reason we want to- instead of valuing having less money, having a smaller place but having quality of life, without having the rat race, running non-stop and then it’s like why? I don’t think… it doesn’t feel right for anyone but we end up doing it because we are in this hold you know.”
Carlota’s daughter has now forged friendships at playgroup and on their way, riding together, her daughter asks in anticipation: Is this person going to be there, is this person going to be there?
The common thread here is a deep desire to continue the link- to generations, history, culture, identity, family. For many of the mums, their husbands are English speakers first and foremost.
Carlota’s husband is Irish and he is learning Spanish. They would love to share that and ensure their daughter is bilingual.
“Because I am Spanish, I would love my daughter to speak Spanish,” said Carlota. “This is great exposure for her, to have the hours and the amount of people that speak the language. It has been fantastic to meet other mums who speak Spanish and especially the kids with our accents, to listen to us in the background.”
“It is interesting,” said Eliana, “because it is even better than being in our own country because I am from Colombia, but here I can go from Argentina, to Mexico, Chile, Colombia- that’s different cultures. Sometimes, the meaning isn’t the same in different words can mean something different. Sometimes we have to say, What do you mean by that? Say that in English, because it is the same word but different meanings in different cultures.”
For grandmother Marie, who attends with her granddaughter Pearl, she finds a reconnection with a part of her identity and life- she has the opportunity to carry her culture on and share it with the next generation.
“It is great, I know. It is amazing!” she says of the playgroup.
“If I wasn’t doing this she wouldn’t be learning about my language and culture, so it is very important.”
When Marie first moved to Melbourne 28 years ago, there were seldom opportunities to speak Spanish. She found her language began to deteriorate.
“I used to think in Spanish and have to translate, whereas now it is the reverse so for me.”
“There is the opportunity to stay here and speak Spanish all Friday morning which is really of benefit to me and my granddaughter, who only has very minimal exposure to the language through me, can now recognise the language because she is here and she is listening and there are so many different accents so that is really quite interesting. Not only are they exposed to their parents, people come from different countries in Latin America and Spain, there are different accents so I think it is amazing, really amazing.”
Like the mothers here, Marie is holding onto a thread that links her to her roots. Through life changes, the sense of self and community here at playgroup, the sense of familiarity, acts as a steadying force.
“I used to work, I worked all these years but now I am semi-retired and it is very isolating. I find it really hard- I still miss my culture a lot.”
For Lily, she also found playgroup steadied her when not only her life changed after having children, but her routine.
“I think it is important to be in a place, an environment where they can grow up and feel like they are still kids and then we can feel like we can kind of relax a little bit. We have a very busy life. Being a mum in this environment now where we are thinking about going back to work or we should not go back to work and feeling, mixing all those things together- but it’s important for us to have spaces to grow as communities.”
During morning tea, the families share traditional foods and treats from their home countries. On this day it was Columbian foods, both savoury and sweet. This is an expression of home, of belonging, of giving- and the gesture also breaks down barriers, to share food, the stuff of life and to highlight that no matter where we are from, there are deep connections to be made and shared.
“For me as a mum, it’s important to me that my kids know that this place is for them and then we are here safely to share our language and encourage them to practice it because if they don’t- eventually they will not be able to communicate with my family and that would make me feel very sad.”
It will never vanish, the culture will never recede, not here at this playgroup, with children playing, talking, sharing, listening, gathering, holding onto the thread that makes us who we are, as a family, language and meaning carried through time.
Connect with Jack and Jill Playgroup
Article by Sinead Halliday
Photography by Mylie Nauendorf